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Excerpts from: Smoking irritates romance

By Dear Abby The Arizona Republic [06/21/03]

DEAR ABBY: I am in the midst of a budding romance with a wonderful young man I'll call Bob. I'm crazy about him, and we're planning a future together. His parents are the nicest people in the world.

There is only one problem. They are both chain smokers, and secondhand smoke seriously irritates my lungs. It has made me so sick that I've been bedridden for a week.

Bob understands completely - he's a non-smoker - and has talked to his mother and father at length about my sensitivity to smoke. They claim that they're trying to stop and that they will not light up around me.

It's not happening. Every time I see them, they're sitting on the other side of the room with the windows open, smoking.

Abby, I have tried to be nice about it. I love Bob and I like his folks.

I don't want to lose him. What should I do? - Smoke-free
in the Deep South

DEAR SMOKE-FREE: Your health must come first. If they cannot master their addiction, under no circumstances should you be in a house, car or restaurant with them. If Bob loves you, he'll back you up.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and had been going with my boyfriend, "Chris," for a month when I found out that my family is moving to Arizona at the end of August.

When I told Chris, he said he didn't see the point of our relationship if I'm leaving, and he broke up with me.

My problem is I have very strong feelings for Chris, and I'm going to be here all summer. That's a long time.

Chris and I still talk and have met casually on different occasions, but he thinks I should concentrate on getting ready to start my "new life" without him. What's your opinion, Abby? - Texas "Missy"

DEAR "MISSY": Chris may have a point. Maintain a friendship with him, but don't expect an exclusive relationship.

Give him marks for being practical and rational. Stay in contact after the move. You never know where things might lead when you both are older.

Write to Dear Abby at Universal Press Syndicate, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. For a reply, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope